Wednesday, June 14, 2017

heart

I'm such an addict.

Today is day 4 off of an oreo binge. It's not a big deal, I've done it before. But each time it gets worse than before. This most recent time, I did 2-3 bags in as many weeks, sometimes eating the whole bag within 24 hours. The thin, mint kind are my favorite. Don't judge, you all have your thing, I know.

I transitioned from the oreos onto coconut ice cream and cashew ice cream bars. 8 bars, each containing 12 g of sugar in about two days. Today, I ate pasta and bagels.

And I know I'm an addict because I want a feeling that eating those foods give me. In my thoughts I'm searching for a sustainable way to feel as good as treats make me feel without harming myself or anyone else.

Oreos have been the easiest route to those indescribable sensations. (heart expanding, it feels like I love everyone I think about and that everyone who meets me loves me, fast heart rate, a bliss feeling in the belly, a warm feeling at the base chakras) and I was able to eat them without consequence for the first most of my life. But now when I do it, my clothes are too tight, I don't feel like exercising because my clothes rub weird and I end up in pain from lack of exercise.

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